Mentor Text Number 2

For my mentor text this week I read Perfect Chemistry, recommended to me by a classmate. I honestly could not have found a better relating story to my story. I really enjoyed reading this book, it was just what I love to read, a sappy love story. However, while I reading Perfect Chemistry I was a little weirded out because my book was extremely similar in multiple ways. First off the main characters name in both my book and Perfect Chemistry is Brittney. Next they both had to do with a very pretty, rich, and popular girl and a boy that is not the most popular kid around. Both characters cross paths when they are forced to be chemistry partners in a chemistry lab, just like in my story. The biggest difference between my story and Perfect Chemistry is that my boy character, Brayden, is an outcast with no friends and the main boy character in my mentor readings main boy character, Alex, was in a Latin gang.

My mentor text greatly influenced my reading because both stories were too similar to my writings. Instead of creating a sappy romance where my two main characters fall in love, like Alex and Brittney in Perfect Chemistry, I am either going to have Brayden end up being some imaginary angel she sort of dreamed up that changed her life for the better because she is so arrogant; or I am going to make Brayden move away. As for my girl character I am going to change her name to Melissa, just so my story is not too similar to Perfect Chemistry.  This story has given me many other ideas such as having Melissa seem to have a perfect life to her classmates, but truly be dealing with problems at home that no one would ever expect. I am still brainstorming ideas; however I was thinking that she could really be poor because everyone thinks she is rich, but her grandmother left her parents the home when she died and Melissa can steal clothes to seem rich. My moral of the story has not changed but along with my idea of having the moral be about being nice to people because you never know what they are going through; I have added the idea that there is more than what meets the eye. I am looking forward to reading my next mentor text because I found this one to be extremely inspiring while writing my novel, Colliding Paths. 

Comments Week 6

http://chandlermayberry.blogspot.com/2011/10/man-in-black-top-hat_13.html

http://sally-girouard.blogspot.com/2011/10/ready-set-go.html?showComment=1318557229262#c1955595634983559561

http://morality-hmatthews.blogspot.com/2011/10/chevy.html?showComment=1318558331096#c823284567245497206
http://kaileymazzillimorality.blogspot.com/2011/10/importance-of-family-not-even-question.html?showComment=1318558732414#c2653549794148924455
http://labates.blogspot.com/2011/10/dont-be-fooled.html?showComment=1318559374077#c447213505776108685

http://aperiodenglishmmpshs.blogspot.com/2011/10/art-of-procrastination.html?showComment=1318806406528#c7756467451522584680

The Controversy: Is Cheerleading a Sport?

“Cheerleading is not a sport!” This is a simple sentence that may mean nothing to some, however to a cheerleader it is the most dreadful comment in the world.

Being a cheerleader for twelve years out of my seventeen years of life has made me extremely familiar with this sport. Yes, I say sport because you would not understand what it really takes to be a cheerleader, if you are not one. I watch other “sports” and do not see how other people can say; “Cheerleading is not a sport,” when these other things I watch I can’t even understand what they are supposed to do.

For starters, I’m sure we have all seen a baseball game. We have our outfield and infield standing around until a ball comes that they catch and throw away to another player. Then there are the batters that just sit around until they get to swing a metal pole around and hope to possibly hit a ball. If they’re lucky enough to hit it they only have to run 90 feet, then they get to stop and take a breather. And they call baseball a sport?

Then we have football, where a big group of boys run and jump on top of each other. They also throw a weird shaped ball that looks like Hey Arnolds head. Bringing us to hockey, all they are, are boy figure skaters with a stick and a puck that they hit into a big net and fight each other.

What about soccer? We see people run up and down a field kicking a ball and hopefully aiming correctly into a huge net. Sounds pretty tough. And then there’s basketball. In this so called “sport”, boys and girls run up and down a big court bouncing a giant bouncy ball off the ground, and when the times right, they throw the big bouncy ball into a net! And you still say cheerleading is not the sport here when we have a sport called golf? They drive to different holes and hit a ball with a metal pole then they drive more.

The reason I am using these sports is because I have never played on a team for these sports, I would never understand what it takes to seriously play each one of those sports. Cheerleading is discriminated as a “hobby” due to the fact that our audience sees the ending factor of what we do. They see our stunts hit precisely, our motions perfect, and our dance exquisite; to our audience, we make it look easy.  They would never see the blood, sweat, or tears that come from us. Eat. Sleep. Cheer. Repeat. That is a cheerleaders’ life. Cheerleading is a sport; however, if you are not one, you would never understand. 

Comments Week 4 and 5

http://sydneycochran7.blogspot.com/2011/10/personal-narrative-shifting.html?showComment=1318290870012#c4796542647710021138

http://chandlermayberry.blogspot.com/2011/10/life-is-prize-live-every-moment-like.html?showComment=1318290931288#c2388076640025686524

http://sally-girouard.blogspot.com/2011/10/width148-height44-namemovie-value.html?showComment=1318290968667#c3904867192189875413

http://adamferguson16.blogspot.com/2011/10/i-believe-life-is-improvised-solo.html?showComment=1318291945878#c528332252956168267

http://scriordan94.wordpress.com/2011/10/07/i-am-me/#comment-8

http://kaileymazzillimorality.blogspot.com/2011/10/personal-narrative.html?showComment=1318295025713#c3748841562490613110

http://licensetobemorallyrational.blogspot.com/2011/10/blissful-blindness.html?showComment=1318296367333#c7151632616340735739

http://alexjosephson.blogspot.com/2011/10/impacting-my-community-my-college-essay.html?showComment=1318296665367#c6153651554284411716

Th1rteen R3asons Why Relation

In order to write my book, Ms. Kennett gave me the assignment of reading Th1rteen R3asons Why. This book was so inspiring to the plot of the story I am creating. I really enjoyed this book it was a true page-turner. The Th1rteen R3asons Why was a sort of morbid story about a young girl named Hannah that committed suicide, for thirteen reasons. Hannah records 13 stories about the reasons why she killed herself and they are sent to the people involved one by one. The story is the journey of the last person, Clay, listening to all of the tapes and following a map through the city Hannah had left for him.

I found it very clear as to why Ms. Kennett gave me this story to read. Not only did I have a great interest to the book, however the Th1rteen R3asons Why is a less happy version of my story. Her character Hannah is very similar to my character Brayden. They both live very rough lives and struggle with the hardships that come along with your high school years. They both have friends that come and go and are noticed for all of the wrong reasons. They both find someone they truly mesh with and begin to fancy that person. In Th1rteen R3asons Why it is too late for Hannah to get over the pain and fall in love so she kills herself; however in my story, it is the perfect time for Brayden to meet a new girl.

Along with my main depressed character, my main character that comes along, Jessica resembles the character Clay in Th1rteen R3asons Why. They are both very empathetic and kind people, and they look past all of the bad things they hear about the person they are interested in. They both take the time to get to know someone rather than judging a book by its cover. It was very interesting how my characters fit so well with the characters in Th1rteen R3asons Why.

My setting of my book was very similar to the Th1rteen R3asons Why, they both mainly take place at a school and little places around town that are significant to the troubled character. For example Hannah had a very close tie with Monet’s, a coffee shop; and my character has a very intense feeling towards a park in his small town.

Reading this book inspired many ideas of what Brayden could be going through, rather than just having they typical parent dying story. It was very interesting to see how closely my story related to Th1rteen R3asons Why. It gave me many great new ideas. Reading this book has definitely enhanced my ideas towards my story. I can not wait to begin creating new ideas for my story that have been inspired to me by the Th1rteen R3asons Why.

Impacting my Community: My College Essay

http://vocaroo.com/?media=vd1GsTVTTV1nnC450

"I want to be remembered as the girl who could always brighten up your day even if I couldn't brighten my own."

As she advanced out the door settled in her wheelchair, a look came upon her face she was not sure would ever appear again.  This remarkable girl unfortunately had brain cancer, was a child of poverty, and had no hair; prom -to her- was out of the question. Her lips began to separate displaying gorgeous teeth and cunning dimples as she flaunted her olive green prom dress. It was not just a smile; it was a sense of relief, a sense of beauty; something this girl had not felt in years.

That day I will never forget. The day I changed someone’s life. The day I saw bliss in a girl filled with dismay. The most rewarding thing, to me, is seeing someone smile, and knowing -I- caused that smile. 

Throughout my seventeen years of life, I have always dreamed of helping those in need; in March of 2011 my dream quickly altered to reality. As I was on the expedition to find an impeccable gown for my junior prom, I saw that the local chapter of Becca’s Closet, a charity that donates prom dresses to the less fortunate, had shut down. I recognized this would affect many of my peer’s attending the prom. I began researching Becca’s Closet and was informed that the woman that had just ended the business stored the dresses at a local cleanist. I decided opening this business back to the community would become my top priority.

Taking on this large task was not going to be simple. I was aware that I would have to be persistent, enthusiastic, and motivated to make this conceivable. Throughout the process of reestablishing the chapter I knew this would be beneficial to my community, which strived me to keep moving forward.

Immense amounts of girls come to the Becca’s Closet - I run - from all around Massachusetts. I find the thankfulness from the girls so rewarding, I have assisted many girls with such drastic life stories such as one girl having brain cancer and never being able to walk again, and another girl that became mentally impaired after a car accident.  It is stories like these that truly teach you to value life and do what is most beneficial for you and others surrounding you. When I am asked how I accomplished this achievement at my age my response is always the same. Nothing makes me more ecstatic than to see a girl find her dream prom gown from something I have enhanced and took over when they never thought that was possible. When the going got rough I knew I could never give up if I wanted to rise above all odds.

When people hear my name, I hope they smile and are reminded of my motivation, persistence and enthusiasm. 

Leaving an Impact: My College Essay

<object width="148" height="44"><param name="movie" value="http://vocaroo.com/player.swf?playMediaID=vd1GsTVTTV1nnC450&server=m1.vocaroo.com&autoplay=0"></param><embed src="http://vocaroo.com/player.swf?playMediaID=vd1GsTVTTV1nnC450&server=m1.vocaroo.com&autoplay=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="148" height="44"></embed></object>

"I want to be remembered as the girl who could always brighten up your day even if I couldn't brighten my own."

As she advanced out the door settled in her wheelchair, a look came upon her face she was not sure would ever appear again.  This remarkable girl unfortunately had brain cancer, was a child of poverty, and had no hair; prom -to her- was out of the question. Her lips began to separate displaying gorgeous teeth and cunning dimples as she flaunted her olive green prom dress. It was not just a smile; it was a sense of relief, a sense of beauty; something this girl had not felt in years.

That day I will never forget. The day I changed someone’s life. The day I saw bliss in a girl filled with dismay. The most rewarding thing, to me, is seeing someone smile, and knowing -I- caused that smile. 

Throughout my seventeen years of life, I have always dreamed of helping those in need; in March of 2011 my dream quickly altered to reality. As I was on the expedition to find an impeccable gown for my junior prom, I saw that the local chapter of Becca’s Closet, a charity that donates prom dresses to the less fortunate, had shut down. I recognized this would affect many of my peer’s attending the prom. I began researching Becca’s Closet and was informed that the woman that had just ended the business stored the dresses at a cleanist. I decided opening this business back to the community would become my top priority.

Taking on this large task was not going to be simple. I was aware that I would have to be persistent, enthusiastic, and motivated to make this conceivable. Throughout the process of reestablishing the chapter I knew this would be beneficial to my community, which strived me to keep moving forward.

Immense amounts of girls come to the Becca’s Closet - I run - from all around Massachusetts. I find the thankfulness from the girls so rewarding, I have assisted many girls with such drastic life stories such as one girl having brain cancer and never being able to walk again, and another girl that became mentally impaired after a car accident.  It is stories like these that truly teach you to value life and do what is most beneficial for you and others surrounding you. When I am asked how I accomplished this achievement at my age my response is always the same. Nothing makes me more ecstatic than to see a girl find her dream prom gown from something I have enhanced and took over when they never thought that was possible. When the going got rough I knew I could never give up if I wanted to rise above all odds.

When people hear my name, I hope they smile and are reminded of my motivation, persistence and enthusiasm.